Khatron Ke Khiladi 11’s Nikki Tamboli pens emotional word remembering brother: ‘Never felt such a dark, sad feeling’

Bigg Boss 13 finalist Nikki Tamboli, who flew off to Cape Town to take part in Khatron Ke Khiladi 11, continues to be grieving the lack of her brother Jatin. The actor had lately slammed trolls for commenting on her participation within the actuality present simply days after his demise. Taking to Instagram, Nikki has now shared an emotional word remembering her brother and her psychological standing for the time being.
Sharing that she has been sobbing to sleep each night time, Nikki Tamboli talked about that her thoughts is but to just accept the loss. Stating that since she has all the time sorted him, aside from being a sister, she additionally felt like a mom for him. The actor added that every thing is just too onerous and every day she feels it’s getting troublesome to like.
“I miss my brother so much and I am sobbing myself to sleep almost every night. few people whom I know tell me that it was his time to go and I should be glad he’s not in emotional pain anymore and not sick anymore and that I have to let him go but my mind doesn’t want to accept that. I just want to be able to talk to my brother and when I say this to my friends they say me that I still can, but it’s not the same They are just not understanding or listening to how I am feeling. I knew my brother my whole life, we were very close and we always protected each other from the other family members and I had to look after him for most of his life even when I wasn’t around him. I kind of felt like my brother’s sister and mum. My mum & father just keeps saying I am the strong one in the family and she could have never gone through my and she expects me to be doing ok now and feeling strong now. I don’t feel strong at all now. I feel like everything is too hard and I just feel each day is difficult to live . I haven’t accepted my brother’s death,” wrote Nikki.

 
Opening up additional about her feelings, the actor shared that there have been individuals round her who’ve been not supportive, and by no means understood her scenario. While she has been suggested to ‘stop grieving’, the actor stated that she will be able to by no means cease but it surely would possibly make her really feel in another way. Sharing that even when her brother ‘wouldn’t have preferred seeing her upset’, she feels responsible and doesn’t have energy to hold on. Nikki additionally added that she doesn’t know the place can she discover her solutions.

Nikki Tamboli additionally talked about that whereas she laughs and sits with individuals attempting to be regular, there are unanswered questions in her thoughts that disturb her. Hinting about melancholy, the previous Bigg Boss contestant talked about that the ache is just too onerous to cope with and by no means understood. She added that she can’t escape it regardless of how onerous she tries.
Read Nikki’s word right here:
“I really feel such a deep, darkish pit of unhappiness has overcome my complete being and I’m completely drowning in it. I really feel like a chunk of the Earth has disappeared and part of me died with my brother. Some days, like at the moment, I simply can’t see the purpose of me being alive or any purpose for my life to go on. I don’t really feel like I can take this intense unhappiness… Some individuals inform me it’s going to get extra manageable, some are getting impatient and one even requested me when I’m going to get on with my life and cease grieving, which I believe is completely crap and unsupportive.
It’s been lower than 10 days and I don’t suppose I’ll ever “stop grieving”. I simply suppose it’s going to change the way it makes me really feel later. I want I knew what to do to make it really feel extra bearable now  I really feel completely misplaced and by no means felt such a darkish, unhappy feeling. People inform me I’ve to be robust for my household. I’ve to be robust for my brother as a result of he wouldn’t wish to see me so upset. That simply makes me really feel responsible for feeling how I’m feeling and I don’t really feel like I’ve any energy left in me  I don’t know the place to show to search out the solutions .”

Earlier, giving particulars about her brother’s sickness, Nikki had shared on her Instagram story that he acquired acquired admitted in hospital after his lungs collapsed. Jatin Tamboli, who has been dealing with a number of well being points through the years, was surviving on one lung. He later “tested positive for tuberculosis and covid in hospital. He also got pneumonia and today morning morning his heart stopped beating and responding,” she added. The actor had stated that God has been variety to the household and saved her brother a variety of occasions. Thanking everybody who prayed for her brother, Nikki added that her brother was uninterested in hospital and is now in a ‘better place and in the better hands. God shall take care of him’.
Nikki Tamboli is presently capturing for Khatron Ke Khiladi 11, which additionally has options Divyanka Tripathi, Arjun Bijlani, Nikki Tamboli, Vishal Aditya Singh, Aastha Gill, Sana Makbul, Anushka Sen, Shweta Tiwari, Mahekk Chahal, Rahul Vaidya, Abhinav Shukla, Varun Sood and Sourabh Raj Jain as contestants.