5 sexist dialogues that want a bidaai from all screenwriter’s manuals this yr

The different day I used to be watching an episode of Anupama, a present I started watching after the protagonist requested her philandering, mentally abusive husband to take a hike. All was effectively and really heartwarming until she uttered the dreaded phrases I’ve grown to loath – Doli mein aayi thhi, arthi pe jaungi.
Hearing this unforgivably regressive phrase made me surprise about different such offensive inventory dialogues and beliefs which must be despatched out on an arthi ASAP.
1. Beti hoke bete ka farz nibhaya: Mirror mirror on the wall, presenting probably the most sexist of all of them. In a rustic the place we’re nonetheless making an attempt to persuade folks to not kill new child women, nothing might be extra damaging than an announcement which implies that inspite of being a daughter, aka a second-rate youngster, you really proved your self worthy by incomes an earnings and taking care of your mother and father and siblings like a son. Not solely does it inform a woman that she is particular as a result of she ‘manned’ up and took the duty of her personal mother and father, it additionally shackles women and men in standard roles that proceed to trigger injury to each genders. In addition, by making a son/man the benchmark, we’re solely telling ladies, but once more, that they’re a) merely not adequate, or b) worthy of reward in the event that they fulfil conventionally male obligations.
2. Pati ka ghar hello tera ghar hain: He might not be charming in any respect, however a husband in hand is healthier than not having one say the Babujis and Maajis of Indian cinema and tv. Women in reel and actual life proceed to be advised that sooner or later they should marry and go to their ‘own home’ the place their husbands dwell. Leaving the marital dwelling for any purpose is taken into account a matter of disgrace for each the girl and her mother and father, who’re accused of failing of their upbringing. An absence of assist from the mother and father is likely one of the major the explanation why ladies stay in sad marriages. They imagine that for higher or for worse, they’ve only one dwelling now, the one they share with their husbands. Associating respectability with matrimony and a way of safety with having a partner is a harmful mentality that should finish.
3. Laaj aurat ka gehna hoti hain: Ladies get these duppatas and saris out as a result of ladies must be seen not heard. For centuries ladies have been inspired to please and be pleasing. Speak softly, snigger modestly, be coy, be shy, and don’t be opinionated. Be ladylike, don’t expose physique components, hold your eyes lowered, hold your head coated, hold your face hidden, don’t depart dwelling at midnight, don’t ask for it by working or incomes or forgetting your home as a result of males will probably be males. Laaj and sharam are your best skills girls, so shrink your aspirations and develop your clothes lengths to put on this badge ofhonour.
Rati Pandey in Star Plus’ Shadi Mubarak.
4. Betiyan paraya dhan hain: Women beware, you aren’t even necessary sufficient to be referred to in human phrases. No, you might be paraya dhan, or wealth that’s not one’s personal. Girls are sometimes advised with an enormous Alok Nathesque smile and supposed affection that they’re paraya dhan, or an asset that’s merely being safeguarded until she might be handed over through kanyaadaan to her rightful house owners/ household. If a woman is made to really feel like a stranger or visitor in her own residence by the mother and father who introduced her into this world, the place does she go and whom does she flip to if issues go improper?
5. Doli mein aayi hoon arthi mein jaungi: How can we overlook this uncommon gem that triggered this complete journey into genteel sexism? Doli mein aayi hoon arthi mein jaungi actually translated implies that I got here right here in a doli, or put up marriage and I’ll solely depart my marital dwelling after I die. This line has been stated hundreds of thousands of occasions in motion pictures and on TV by ladies who refuse to depart an abusive husband, grasping in-laws or an sad relationship of any sort as a result of an honourable girl makes her marriage work. She adjusts, she compromises, sacrifices, and ennobles herself by dying within the dwelling she was married into. While there are numerous causes which make it tough for ladies to depart abusive or failing relationships, the disgrace related to being a divorcee or accepting that their marriage didn’t work out, typically deter her from leaving.

These often-used dialogues are a relentless reminder of simply how deeply patriarchy and its practices have seeped into our social buildings and our thought processes. It is an unlucky reflection of how we’ve systematically weakened a lady’s confidence by glorifying unfair traditions. Ek chutki sindoor is likely to be a joke in a movie, however for most ladies, it’s a life raft and the one solution to lead a good life.
Undoubtedly there are efforts being made by cinema and widespread tradition to deal with these biases and to exonerate ladies from this normalised subjugation. But if a present being watched by hundreds of thousands has a supposed position mannequin say she wouldn’t depart her sasuraal until she dies, then we actually have a protracted lengthy solution to go.